07 Nov The Good Kind of Conflict

So most teams shy away from conflict. I mean, why would you want to be a part of a team that is fighting am I right? But right there is the first misconception. Naturally when we think of the word conflict, we think of arguing, raised voices, and tempers. But who says that conflict needs to be that way. Conflict simply means that there are two sides, two opinions, two people that don’t agree. But just because there is a conflict doesn’t mean that there needs to be an argument or fighting. Now it is our human response to create an argument when there is conflict. We puff our chests, honk our horns, and raise our voices, all to try and defend our position and honestly our pride. But this is only one reaction to conflict. Some conflict when handled correctly can be good. I would even venture to say that conflict in marriage is a positive thing, because it is through conflict that you learn to properly resolve it, and grow as an individual. So if there is healthy conflict, why shouldn’t we welcome it on our teams? I think most teams still shy away because to be honest, they don’t know how to use conflict to their advantage. It only makes people angry and bitter at each other. The only way that conflict works well is when the entire team understand that conflict has one purpose. So that the team can arrive at the best possible answer in the shortest amount of time. By getting this out in the open, the team understands that disagreement or rejection of ideas is not a personal attack. Instead, this kind of back and forth debate brings the entire team towards their ultimate goal. This thinking allows each team member to have open, vulnerable participation in discussion knowing that even if their idea is not accepted by all, they won’t be ridiculed for it. Then once the meeting is over, every team member can get behind the decision, and leave the room with no hurt or residual feelings because they hit their goal. But when team members feel like the goal is for their idea to be accepted, or their ego needs to be pet, that’s what leads into arguments and bitter feelings. As a leader, it is important to recognize when arguments and tension arise so that you can be proactive in putting these fires out before they get out of control. The fear of conflict is one of the dysfunctions talked about in by Patrick Lencioni in his book The Five Dysfunctions Of A Team. If you’d like to see what other dysfunctions your team might be suffering from, check out our video summary.